Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
