The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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