I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
