We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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