I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
