here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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