I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
