what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The feeling are messing with the penis
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
