508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
