I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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