Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
