Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
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Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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