if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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