I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
