were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
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The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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