im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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