I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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