I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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