Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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