Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
