The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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