i wish my penis had a tongue
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
