there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
