Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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