So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
