Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
