I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
