You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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