weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
