The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
