this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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