I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
