okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
