im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
