so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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