i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
