ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
