your room smells of hookers.
And success
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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