Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
