I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
