:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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