It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i will never coherently bang her
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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