Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just threw up on my dentist
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
