This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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