btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
