I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My feet surprised me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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