singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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