i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
