Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
there is glitter all over my balls
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
