I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
