i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so let's talk penis.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
