therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
