some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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