I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
