3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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