Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
