she was so not down for the gang bang
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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