You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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