my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
