I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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